Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Written By: Kelly Chan Jia Li, Clinical Psychologist (MAHPC(CP)00353)
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that can make it difficult for an individual to manage their emotions, behaviour, and relationships. Individuals with BPD often experience intense emotions, unstable relationships, and a distorted self-image. It is like living on an emotional rollercoaster, where feelings can change rapidly, and it can feel nearly impossible to find stability.
Individuals with BPD often struggle with intense feelings of anger, sadness, or fear, which can lead to impulsive actions, relationship difficulties, and a poor sense of self. While BPD can be challenging, having a better understanding of BPD is an important first step toward managing its symptoms and improving quality of life.
What Does BPD Look Like?
Imagine your emotions are like a volume knob on a radio. For most people, the knob moves smoothly between different levels of intensity. But for someone with BPD, that knob is extremely sensitive. It might go from a quiet hum to a deafening roar in seconds, making it difficult to control emotional responses.
BPD affects how you view yourself and others. It is common for individuals with BPD to have a fragile sense of self-worth and to struggle with feelings of emptiness. Relationships can be particularly challenging because emotions are so intense that they sometimes lead to impulsive behaviours or decisions.
Key Symptoms of BPD
Intense Fear of Abandonment
Individuals with BPD often have a deep-seated fear of being abandoned or left alone. This fear can be overwhelming, and they would go to great lengths to avoid real or imagined abandonment or sometimes push others away. For example, a person might constantly text a friend to make sure they are still close or might overreact to minor signs of distance.
Unstable Relationships
Relationships can feel like a tug-of-war for someone with BPD. One moment, everything seems perfect, and the next, it feels like the end of the world. They might idealize someone one day and feel intense anger or disappointment towards them the next, leading to unstable and intense relationships. This can make maintaining friendships or romantic relationships tough.
Unstable Self-Image
Individuals with BPD may struggle to define who they are. They might feel like they do not know themselves, leading to frequent changes in career goals, values, or interests. For example, one day, they might feel confident and outgoing, and the next, they might feel completely worthless.
Impulsive Behaviours
Acting on impulse is common in BPD. Individuals with BPD might act on impulse without considering the long-term consequences. This might include spending sprees, reckless driving or substance abuse. These actions are often a way to cope with or escape intense emotions.
Self-harm or Suicidal Behaviour
Some individuals with BPD engage in self-harm (such as cutting) or have suicidal thoughts or actions. These behaviours are often a way to express or cope with unbearable emotions, even though they cause harm.
Affective instability (Intense Mood Swings)
Mood swings in BPD can be sudden and intense. A person might feel euphoric one moment and then fall into deep despair a few hours later. Unlike typical mood swings, these changes are often triggered by events that others might see as minor. For example, a small disagreement might feel like a huge betrayal, leading to extreme anger or despair.
Chronic Feelings of Emptiness
Individuals with BPD describe a feeling of emptiness, as if there is a void inside them that nothing can fill. This can lead to a constant search for something to make them feel whole, but the emptiness often persists no matter what they try.
Inappropriate and Intense Anger
Anger in BPD can be intense and challenging to control. It is often disproportionate to the situation and can lead to outbursts that are later regretted. This anger can lead to shouting, throwing things, or even physical fights.
Feeling Dissociated or Unconnected
During stressful times, individuals with BPD might experience paranoia or feel disconnected from themselves or the world around them, as if they are observing their life from the outside.
What Causes BPD?
There is no single cause of BPD, but it is believed to result from a combination of genetic, environmental, and social factors. The biosocial theory is often used to explain how BPD develops.
Biological Factors (What You are Born With)
Some individuals were born with higher sensitivity towards emotions. This means they might feel things more intensely, have strong reactions to situations, and take longer to calm down after getting upset. It is like having emotional “skin” that is much thinner than others, so even small things can hurt a lot.
Social Factors (What Happens to You)
These are the life experiences and environments that shape how you deal with your emotions. Someone with BPD might have grown up in an environment where their emotions were not understood, validated, or supported. For example, they may have been told they were overreacting or that their feelings did not matter. This can make it hard for them to learn how to manage their emotions in a healthy way.
How Biological and Social Factors Interact?
Suppose you are naturally very emotionally sensitive (biological factor), and you grow up in an environment where your emotions are ignored, or you have experienced traumatic childhood experiences (social factor). In that case, you might start to develop patterns of behaviour that we see in BPD. These can include intense mood swings, fear of being abandoned, and difficulty maintaining stable relationships.
How to Cope with BPD Symptoms
Living with BPD can feel overwhelming, but it is important to remember that with the right support and treatment, they can lead fulfilling lives.
Psychotherapy
Therapy is one of the most effective ways to manage BPD. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is specifically designed for individuals with BPD and focuses on teaching skills to manage emotions, improve relationships, cope with distress and reduce impulsive behaviours.
Reminder: If you or your loved ones are struggling with BPD, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at Soul Mechanics KD or Soul Mechanics Ipoh. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but strength!
Medication
While there is no specific medication for BPD, some individuals find that antidepressants, mood stabilizers, or antipsychotic medications can help manage certain symptoms, like depression, anxiety, or mood swings.
Building a Support System
It is crucial for someone with BPD to have a strong support system. This might include friends, family, a support group, or group therapy. Having people who understand and can offer nonjudgmental support can make a big difference. Group therapy allows them to connect with others who have similar experiences, providing support and reducing feelings of isolation.
Living with BPD: Tips for Coping
If you or someone you know is living with BPD, here are some tips that might help.
Learn About BPD
Understanding BPD can help you or your loved one make sense of the emotions and behaviours that come with the disorder.
Build a Support Network
Having supportive friends, family, or a therapist to talk to can make a big difference.
Create a Safety Plan
If you or someone you know experience suicidal thoughts or urges to self-harm, having a safety plan in place can help you stay safe. This might include a list of people to call, distracting activities, or grounding exercises.
Practice Self-Care
Taking care of oneself physically and emotionally is essential. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and enough sleep can help stabilize mood and improve overall well-being.
To Sum It Up
Borderline Personality Disorder is a challenging condition, but with the right support and treatment, individuals with BPD can lead fulfilling lives. By learning more about BPD, we can better support those who are living with it and reduce the stigma that often surrounds it. If you or someone you know is struggling with BPD, remember it is okay to reach out for help. Recovery is possible with one step at a time.
If you enjoyed reading this, why not broaden the horizon of knowledge by learning about "Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): A Journey Into DBT"? You can read the blog here.
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