Vaginismus:Navigating Intimacy with Compassion
Vaginismus:Navigating Intimacy with Compassion
Written By: Devi Venashinee Muruges, Licensed Counselor (KB08444)
What is Vaginismus?
It’s defined by involuntary spasms of the vaginal muscles that make penetration painful or impossible, even when the person wants it. Typically, it begins during the first attempts at tampon use, pelvic exams or even intercourse. Pain and tightness quickly become associated with anticipation. While fear of pain plays a central role, vaginismus can also stem from various factors such as past trauma, anxiety, fear of intimacy, or even due to physical issues such as infections or endometriosis.
How does Vaginismus affect women emotionally?
Many women describe it to feel like "a wall" or "even hitting a brick wall" between their mind and body. Fear and shame often lead to avoidance of gynecological care, intimacy, or even tampon use, impacting both self-esteem and health.
From my experience as a therapist, I often notice that vaginismus often co-occurs with mental health related concerns such as anxiety, low sexual self-concept, and fear of intimacy, creating a cycle where physical pain weakens connection.
What Should They Do To Feel Better?
1. Attending Therapy Sessions
Therapy can be an effective avenue to help women reduce fear and reshape the relationship between their mind and body. Particularly, a trauma-informed approach will be more beneficial in this matter.
2. Open & Honest Communication
Open and honest communication can help women go a long way, sharing fears and expectations with their partner will often foster emotional safety creating reassurance. This can help ease the involuntary tension.
3. Seeking Support From Partner
Healing often blossoms when their partner often shows support by checking in on them, staying calm during painful steps and prioritize their emotional readiness. Their partner's empathy may help them break through the internal wall.
Remember this!
If you are a woman struggling with Vaginismus, remember this, you are not alone. There are many women out there experiencing similar challenges, often in silence. Together, lets raise awareness on Vaginismus and remind every woman out there struggling in silence, Healing takes time and that's okay. You are allowed to heal, even if it takes a while.
If you’re looking for a therapist in Kota Damansara or Ipoh area, you can click here for more information.
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