Anxiety: Is It Me or the Anxiety Talking?

Anxiety

Anxiety: Is It Me or the Anxiety Talking?

Written By: Shaundtrya Ganasan, Licensed Counselor (KB11097)

Do you find yourself stuck in a cycle of second-guessing, self-blaming, or overthinking all the worst-case scenarios, even for a simple decision?

You may have thought, “Why can’t I peace out by trusting myself?” or “Why do all decisions feel like they would go wrong?”

These experiences could be the hallmarks of your anxiety’s voice - intrusive, persistent, and very manipulatively convincing.

Exploring How Anxiety Manipulates
Anxiety

Anxiety does not only create a sense of fear or worry, it also alters the way you perceive yourself, how you interpret situations, and how you make decisions. It can feel like having an overworking filter in your mind that could turn everything into a possible catastrophe.

In this article, let us delve deeper into how anxiety influences your self-perception, disrupts decision-making, and how to reclaim your control over these unhealthy inner dialogues effectively.

What Does Anxiety’s Voice Sound Like?

Anxiety’s voice is not always obvious or loud. Sometimes, it manifests through whispers that camouflage as your thoughts. It can sound like this:

These thoughts not only affect the way you feel but also influence the way you perceive the world around you. Over time, it becomes tough to differentiate whether the voice in your head is yours or your anxiety taking charge.

Anxiety
How Anxiety Influences Self-Perception

Anxiety’s main motive is to protect you from possible risks and threats. Although it may be a genuinely helpful thought for future dangerous situations, your overactive anxiety response has the ability to turn neutral or positive experiences into fear. This leads to distorted self-perception.

Exaggerating Flaws and Failures

Anxiety tends to magnify your imperfections. For instance, a small error such as forgetting to respond to a text can spiral your thoughts to "I'm so bad. They'll not like me."

Undermining Achievements

Even when you succeed, your anxiety may whisper that it wasn’t your accomplishment to further dismiss it. You may start viewing your success as luck or due to other external factors.

Overidentification with Negative Thoughts

When anxious thoughts start to take over, they feel like absolute truths. Instead of viewing them as passing thoughts, you may begin to absorb and internalize them, thinking, “I feel not enough, so I must be inadequate.”

Comparing Yourself Unfavorably to Others

Social anxiety also often magnifies your comparison trap. Scrolling through social media, like Instagram for example can create thoughts like "Everyone else is doing better, except me."

This cycle of distorted self-doubts can further amplify your anxiousness, making it tougher to view yourself as someone capable and deserving of joy.

Anxiety’s Impact on Decision-Making

One of the most heavy impacts of anxiety is to paralyze your decision-making skills. When anxiety starts to dominate, every choice may feel like a high-stakes test.

Fear of Failure

Anxiety often amplifies the potential risks of failure. You may avoid pursuing a new career opportunity or starting a new venture because the thought of failing feels too much and unbearable.

The Overthinking Trap

Anxiety thrives on overanalysis. For instance, deciding what to wear for a part can lead to thoughts like:

  • “Will this make me look nerdy?”
  • “What if they judge me for being too formal?”
  • “What if I make the wrong impression?”

These spiralling thoughts can make even minor decisions feel daunting and overwhelming, leading to procrastination or avoidance.

Anxiety
Seeking Excessive Reassurance

To cope with decision-making anxiousness, you may start to seek constant reassurance or validation from others. Although it can temporarily soothe your fears, it can further enhance your self-belief whereby you can't trust your judgement.

Avoidance as a Coping Mechanism

For some of us, anxiety can lead us to be outright avoidant. For example, if decision-making feels so draining, you may delay it - only to feel even more stressed as the deadline lingers around.

Why Anxiety’s Voice Feels So Convincing

Anxiety can manipulate you by sounding logical. Its arguments are often anchored on cognitive distortions - unhealthy thinking patterns. Below are some of the common distortions and how they manifest themselves:

Personalization

You may blame yourself for things that are out of your control. For example, "If my mom is upset, it must be because of me."

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Catastrophizing

You may also assume or predict the worst-case scenarios that can happen, even if it’s unlikely. For instance, “If I don’t reply to this message properly, I’ll lose my friendship.”

Black-and-White Thinking

You tend to view situations in extremes: either total success or utter failure. If something doesn’t go as you want it to, you may think it’s a failure.

Emotional Reasoning

We tend to believe something is true just because it feels true. If you feel not enough, you may assume yourself to be unworthy. These distortions can make your anxiety's voice feel authoritative, even when it's far from reality or accurate.

How to Tell If It’s Anxiety Talking

Dissociating your anxiety's vice from yours takes time and practice, but not impossible. Below are some ways to start the process:

Pause and Reflect

When you realize or catch yourself having anxious thoughts, pause for a moment before reacting. Ask yourself these questions:

  • “Are these thoughts true or based on my present feelings?"
  • “What is the backup that supports or contradicts this thought?”
Consider Alternative Perspectives

Challenge your anxious thoughts by allowing alternative interpretations as well. For instance, if you think, “My sister hasn't replied to me, I think she's mad at me,” consider alternatives: “Maybe she's busy or forgot to reply.”

Anxiety
Notice Patterns

As time goes on, you can notice the recurring themes of your anxious thoughts. Acknowledging these patterns can guide you to recognize your anxiety when it is talking.

Steps to Reclaim Your Inner Voice

Below are some steps to gradually overcome your anxiety's influence on you and reclaim your sense of self and control:

Limit Reassurance-Seeking

If you are someone who needs frequent validation from others, try to reassure yourself instead. For example, list down your thoughts and respond to those thoughts as if you are comforting a friend.

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Externalize Your Anxiety

Try giving your anxiety a persona or name to dissociate it from yourself. For instance, it can be "That's just Bluey (anxiety - any preferred name) talking again." This would encourage you to view your anxiety as a separate part from your real self.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness practices help you to be grounded and brought back to the present. Simple techniques such as square breathing, mindful observation or body scans can decrease the intensity and frequency of your anxious thoughts.

Reframe Your Inner Dialogue

Gradually practice replacing your self-critical thoughts with more compassionate ones. For instance, instead of "I will never get things right," try, "I am trying the best I could."

Seek Professional Support

Trained mental health professionals can provide you with a safe space to acknowledge and work on your triggers, anxiousness roots, and unhealthy thought patterns. You can learn to manage your anxiety more efficiently with healthy personalized strategies that cater to your goals.

Moving Beyond Anxiety’s Grip

Anxiety can sometimes feel like a permanent part of yourself, but that would not define who you are. By acknowledging its impact and learning to get in tune with your inner voice, you can create a life within you that is driven by courage rather than fear.

Remember, your anxiety is not yours. It is a temporary state that you experience. It's not a permanent definition of you. With conscious and consistent efforts and healthy strategies, you can learn to slow down and quiet the voice of your anxiety and listen to the one that truly matters - your own.

Anxiety

If you’re looking for a therapist in Kota Damansara or Ipoh area, you can click here for more information.

If you enjoyed reading this, why not broaden the horizon of knowledge by learning about "Understanding Derealisation: When the World Feels Unreal"? You can read the blog here.

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