{"id":7866,"date":"2025-06-04T19:24:54","date_gmt":"2025-06-04T11:24:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/?p=7866"},"modified":"2025-06-04T19:24:55","modified_gmt":"2025-06-04T11:24:55","slug":"do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Really Want Closure, or Just Another Round of Pain?"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized is-style-rounded\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Jenefa-Pic_Edited-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7784\" style=\"width:73px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Jenefa-Pic_Edited-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Jenefa-Pic_Edited-640x853.jpg 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Jenefa-Pic_Edited-400x533.jpg 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Jenefa-Pic_Edited-600x800.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/figure><p>Written by Jenefa Anthony KB 11780<\/p><p>The craving for one last text, one last conversation\u2026 but at what cost?<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/1-Intro-2-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7962\" style=\"width:311px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/1-Intro-2-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/1-Intro-2-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/1-Intro-2-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/1-Intro-2-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/1-Intro-2-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><p>The desire for &#8220;closure&#8221; is normal when a relationship ends, whether it be love, friendship, or even familial. We convince ourselves that we would feel better if we could only have one more talk, one more explanation, or one more apology. With everything neatly tied up, we picture leaving feeling lighter.<br><br>The harsh reality is that we frequently end ourselves chasing more misery&nbsp;when we try to find closure.<\/p><blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><strong>Reminder: If you or someone you care about is going through a tough time, please know that you&#8217;re not alone.<\/strong><br><strong>Our team at Soul Mechanics Kota Damansara and Soul Mechanics Ipoh is here to support you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p><strong>Reaching out for help isn\u2019t a weakness, it\u2019s an act of courage, and a powerful step toward healing.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_69_1 ez-toc-wrap-left counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewbox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewbox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseprofile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain\/#Why_We_Think_Closure_Will_Heal_Us\" title=\"Why We Think Closure Will Heal Us\">Why We Think Closure Will Heal Us<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain\/#What_One_More_Conversation_Actually_Does\" title=\"What One More Conversation Actually Does\">What One More Conversation Actually Does<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain\/#The_Real_Reason_We_Want_Closure\" title=\"The Real Reason We Want Closure\">The Real Reason We Want Closure<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain\/#Closure_Isnt_Given_Its_Chosen\" title=\"Closure Isn\u2019t Given. It\u2019s Chosen.\">Closure Isn\u2019t Given. It\u2019s Chosen.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain\/#Practical_Ways_to_Create_Your_Own_Closure\" title=\"Practical Ways to Create Your Own Closure\">Practical Ways to Create Your Own Closure<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain\/#Ask_Yourself_What_Am_I_Really_Hoping_For\" title=\"Ask Yourself: What Am I Really Hoping For?\">Ask Yourself: What Am I Really Hoping For?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/do-you-really-want-closure-or-just-another-round-of-pain\/#Pain_Is_Inevitable_Prolonged_Suffering_Is_Optional\" title=\"Pain Is Inevitable. Prolonged Suffering Is Optional.\">Pain Is Inevitable. Prolonged Suffering Is Optional.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_We_Think_Closure_Will_Heal_Us\"><\/span><strong>Why We Think Closure Will Heal Us<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/2-why-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7963\" style=\"width:349px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/2-why-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/2-why-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/2-why-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/2-why-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/2-why-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><p>The human brain is programmed to look for rational patterns, explanations, and narratives. A relationship feels incomplete when it ends suddenly or leaves us puzzled. It&#8217;s tremendous discomfort. We are plagued by uncertainty. We believe that we would feel better if we could simply understand why they did this and let them know how much they wounded us.<br><br>Understanding, we think, will lead to peace. Part of that is true &#8211; pain&nbsp;can be alleviated by understanding. However, most people overlook the fact that you rarely obtain closure from someone else. It is something you cultivate inside yourself.<\/p><p>Waiting for someone else to give you closure is like to waiting for the person who shattered the vase to come mend it, even if they may not even realise it&#8217;s broken, don&#8217;t care, or have already left.<br><br>You&#8217;re bleeding from the jagged edges as you stand there in the debris.<\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_One_More_Conversation_Actually_Does\"><\/span><strong>What One More Conversation Actually Does<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>We hope the &#8220;one last talk&#8221; will be peaceful, healing, and enlightening. However, it frequently becomes something else in real life:<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/3-reopen-wounds-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7964\" style=\"width:385px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/3-reopen-wounds-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/3-reopen-wounds-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/3-reopen-wounds-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/3-reopen-wounds-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/3-reopen-wounds-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Reopening wounds<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p>It hurts more to hear them dismiss the pain you endure or defend their behaviour than it ever did to remain silent.<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/4-false-hope-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7965\" style=\"width:423px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/4-false-hope-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/4-false-hope-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/4-false-hope-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/4-false-hope-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/4-false-hope-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>False hope<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p>If they appear sympathetic or emotional, you may conclude that they do care, which may lead to new fantasies about making things better.<\/p><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Deeper confusion<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p>Individuals are complex. They may contradict themselves, convey conflicting messages, or leave you with even more unanswered issues.<\/p><p>Rather than finding a clear closure, you become entangled once more, repeating what they said, questioning yourself, and being enmeshed in &#8220;what if&#8221; possibilities.<br><br>It&#8217;s similar to attempting to clean a cut with unclean hands. You&#8217;re actually making the infection worse, even though you believe you&#8217;re helping in its healing.<\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Real_Reason_We_Want_Closure\"><\/span><strong>The Real Reason We Want Closure<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/5-real-reason-want-closure-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7966\" style=\"width:527px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/5-real-reason-want-closure-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/5-real-reason-want-closure-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/5-real-reason-want-closure-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/5-real-reason-want-closure-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/5-real-reason-want-closure-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><p>The goal of &#8220;closure&#8221; is often not understanding. It all comes down to wanting the other person to realise how hurt you are. To validate it. To feel regret&nbsp;their actions. T o offer an apology that is genuinely meaningful. To finally &nbsp;be one&nbsp;who you needed them to be.<br><br>Having such wishes is perfectly OK. It\u2019s human. However, you remain stuck if your recovery is dependent on the actions of another person, who may not be able or willing to provide you with what you require.<br><br>Many people know deep down that they won&#8217;t get the closure&nbsp;they&#8217;re looking for. However, it is easier to reach out than to accept that the loss is irreversible. Pain can be strangely reassuring if it signals that you are still in contact with the person.<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/6-closure-isnt-given-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7967\" style=\"width:445px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/6-closure-isnt-given-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/6-closure-isnt-given-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/6-closure-isnt-given-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/6-closure-isnt-given-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/6-closure-isnt-given-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Closure_Isnt_Given_Its_Chosen\"><\/span><strong>Closure Isn\u2019t Given. It\u2019s Chosen.<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>You don&#8217;t have to wait for closure. You make the decision to make it for yourself.<br><br>It&#8217;s an option to assert that:<\/p><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><em>They might never provide me the kind of apology I deserve<\/em><\/li>\n\n<li><em>I might never receive the answers I need<\/em><\/li>\n\n<li><em>They might never even realise their actions<\/em><\/li>\n\n<li><em>I&#8217;m still allowed to heal, move on, and feel complete<\/em><\/li><\/ul><p>It&#8217;s really challenging. It seems unjust. It feels like giving up when you&#8217;re still on the battlefield, hoping the opposing side would return for peace negotiations. But the true triumph is leaving that battleground.<\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Practical_Ways_to_Create_Your_Own_Closure\"><\/span><strong>Practical Ways to Create Your Own Closure<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>It takes more than just positive thinking to bring about your own closure. Overcoming a broken relationship requires a lot of work. These acts can be helpful:<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/7-write-letter-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7968\" style=\"width:340px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/7-write-letter-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/7-write-letter-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/7-write-letter-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/7-write-letter-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/7-write-letter-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Write the letter, but do not send it.<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p>Put everything you wish to convey to the person in writing. Every emotion, each question, every painful or thankful experience. Take it all out.<\/p><p>Don&#8217;t send it, though.<br><br>This is not for them, but for you. By doing this, your brain can digest the emotions without re-establishing the connection.<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/8-accept-might-never-know-why-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7969\" style=\"width:309px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/8-accept-might-never-know-why-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/8-accept-might-never-know-why-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/8-accept-might-never-know-why-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/8-accept-might-never-know-why-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/8-accept-might-never-know-why-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Accept that you might never know &#8220;why.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p>There are instances when people hurt others without even realising it. They may be coping with their own wounds, anxieties, or unexplained shortcomings. It could take an eternity to wait for a satisfactory response.<br><br>Though bitter, acceptance is liberating. It&#8217;s not necessary to have every piece of the puzzle in order to go.<\/p><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Focus on&nbsp;your own narrative<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p>How do you interpret this ending? Are you telling yourself that you are not enough? You failed? Could you instead assure yourself that you tried, you loved, and you learnt?<br><br>The narrative you decide to believe will influence how you heal.<\/p><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Completely Cut Off Contact<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p>Get rid of them from your life if you can. Block their phone number. Mute their social media accounts. Delete past chats.<br><br>It brings up old hurts every time you come across their name, even in passing. Give distance as a gift to yourself.<br><br>This is about safeguarding your energy, not about being aloof or dramatic.<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/9-rebuild-own-identity-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7970\" style=\"width:368px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/9-rebuild-own-identity-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/9-rebuild-own-identity-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/9-rebuild-own-identity-640x640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/9-rebuild-own-identity-400x400.jpg 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/9-rebuild-own-identity-600x600.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Rebuild Your Identity Without Them<\/strong><\/li><\/ul><p>We often integrate relationships into who we are. We feel as though we lose a piece of ourselves when things end.<br><br>Discover who you are now, outside of that relationship. Resume&nbsp;old hobbies. Try some different ones. Get back in touch with your loved ones. Make experiences that are unrelated to the past.<br><br>Healing is about building for the future, not just mourning what has been lost.<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/10-ask-yourself-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7971\" style=\"width:366px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/10-ask-yourself-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/10-ask-yourself-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/10-ask-yourself-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/10-ask-yourself-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/10-ask-yourself-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Ask_Yourself_What_Am_I_Really_Hoping_For\"><\/span><strong>Ask Yourself: What Am I Really Hoping For?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>Take a moment before you text that person or ask for that last meeting.<br><br>Sincerely, ask yourself: What do I hope to happen?<br><br>If the response is, &#8220;I just want to understand,&#8221; keep in mind that understanding usually doesn&#8217;t make the hurt go away the way we hope it will.<br><br>If your response is, &#8220;I want them to apologise or see my worth,&#8221; consider whether you&#8217;re prepared to put yourself through more pain for the sake of having a chance.<br><br>Maybe you&#8217;ll see that what you truly need isn&#8217;t what they say, but rather your own decision to stop causing yourself pain by waiting.<\/p><blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><strong>Reminder: If you or someone you care about is going through a tough time, please know that you&#8217;re not alone.<br>Our team at Soul Mechanics Kota Damansara and Soul Mechanics Ipoh is here to support you.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote><p><strong>Reaching out for help isn\u2019t a weakness, it\u2019s an act of courage, and a powerful step toward healing.<\/strong><\/p><div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/11-conclusion-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7972\" style=\"width:390px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/11-conclusion-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/11-conclusion-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/11-conclusion-640x640.png 640w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/11-conclusion-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/11-conclusion-600x600.png 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Pain_Is_Inevitable_Prolonged_Suffering_Is_Optional\"><\/span><strong>Pain Is Inevitable. Prolonged Suffering Is Optional.<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><p>There will be pain for you. That&#8217;s what it costs to be human, to love, to care. Suffering, however, is a choice. It is the never-ending cycle of reaching out, hoping, being let down, and then reopening wounds. It is within your power to stop it.<br><br>Choosing closure does not imply that you no longer care. That doesn&#8217;t imply that the relationship wasn&#8217;t significant. It doesn\u2019t erase those pleasant memories. It simply indicates that you are putting yourself ahead of a story that no longer serves you.<br><br>Therefore, while you are writing that &#8220;one last message,&#8221; pause to evaluate whether you are signing up for another round of pain&nbsp;or truly seeking closure.<br><br>There&#8217;s more value in your peace than another unsolved question. You are worthy of a brighter future than another painful cycle.<\/p><p>If you\u2019re looking for a&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/about-us\/our-team-in-kota-damansara\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">therapist&nbsp;<\/a>in Kota Damansara or Ipoh area, you can click&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/wa.link\/og2wl3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">here<\/a>&nbsp;for more information.<\/p><p>If you enjoyed reading this, why not broaden the horizon of knowledge by learning about &#8220;Inter-Generational Trauma&#8221;?<br>You can read the blog&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/zh\/intergenerational-trauma\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">here<\/a>.<\/p><p>For more content related to mental health do follow us on our official&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/soulmechanicstherapygram\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Instagram<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by Jenefa Anthony KB 11780 The craving for one last text, one last conversation\u2026 but at what cost? The desire for &#8220;closure&#8221; is normal when a relationship ends, whether it be love, friendship, or even familial. We convince ourselves that we would feel better if we could only have one more talk, one more [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":7961,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[186,185,535,421,256,188,146,178,536,206],"class_list":["post-7866","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","tag-childhood-baggage","tag-childhood-trauma","tag-closure","tag-couple","tag-healing","tag-inner-child","tag-mental-health-2","tag-relationship","tag-relationship-tips","tag-trauma"],"aioseo_notices":[],"featured_image_src":{"landsacpe":["https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Closure-1140x445.jpg",1140,445,true],"list":["https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Closure-463x348.jpg",463,348,true],"medium":["https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Closure-300x169.jpg",300,169,true],"full":["https:\/\/soulmechanicstherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Closure.jpg",1920,1080,false]},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Do You Really Want Closure, or Just Another Round of Pain?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The desire for &quot;closure&quot; is normal when a relationship ends, whether it be love, friendship, or even familial. 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