How Attached Are You To Your Partner?

How attached are you to your partner?

From the moment we are born and through our whole lives we are surrounded by people. Our parents, friends and of course romantic relationships are a huge part of our day to day life. The bonds we form with all those people around are called attachments in psychology. There are four major attachment styles that people show. Often, they come from childhood or previous relationships and are not a fixed trait but rather an area for growth. Once you learn about them you can start noticing the styles people are exhibiting in everyday life as well as in your favourite series, movies and books. 

Secure Attachment

Most people (about 50% – 70%) show secure attachment style. This means they are open for intimacy and emotional involvement, while also drawing healthy boundaries in the relationships. 

Secure types are ready to discuss and resolve problems when they arise and possess high emotional intelligence (a.k.a. they can convey and receive emotions constructively). These people are quite confident and secure both with their partners and on their own. In general, these people tend to have a good self-esteem and maintain lasting relationships based on trust. 

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

When people exhibit dismissive-avoidant style, they often are independent in their actions and emotions. They dislike being vulnerable, that’s why they tend to avoid true intimacy and have commitment issues. These people tend to put other things (e.g. work, passions, social life) before their romantic relationships and strive for freedom in all they do. They may come off as narcissistic, emotionally unavailable and overly focused on their own lives. These people tend to have many acquaintances, but not many meaningful relationships as they tend to shut down emotionally to “protect their freedom”.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment 

As the name of this style suggests, these people tend to be quite anxious about their relationships about both real and imagined events. They require constant positive reinforcement and validation and if denied that they start feeling insecure and could become jealous, controlling or needy. 

Anxious-preoccupied attachment often signifies dislike of being alone, orientation on drama and issues and negative thinking. These people may look for their partner to “complete” them to feel more secure in the relationship.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment 

This attachment style is characterised by both striving for and resisting meaningful intimate relationships. People of this attachment style tend to be suspicious and distrustful of others, and have problems relying on them. They may push away those people who get close to them. They are often unpredictable in their moods and this manifests in strong reactions and emotional storms. The person they go to for safety is also the person they are scared to be close to.

Understanding these attachment styles and changing them can help you greatly improve your relationships and promote inner peace and tranquillity. We hope that this knowledge can increase your well-being and quality of life. 

Meanwhile, bond with people, stay home and stay safe! 

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