Life is unfair and often throws unexpected obstacles at us. Being unyielding, we often find means to overcome these obstacles while crafting a path towards a happy living. However, life obstacles do not always come from external sources but also stem from within us. While growing up, there will be moments that most of us would experience self-victimization, allowing ourselves to be our own obstacles.
To victimize is to make another the victim through harm or taking advantage of them through any means. When this act is directed by us to ourselves, we are making ourselves out to be victim. An example would be us blaming others or ‘life’ for what we had become or had to go through, while we feel stuck, powerless and begin to approach everything with a negative mindset.
Usually as victims we are hurting from undesired situation, but some do self-victimize to benefit from others in order to stay in their comfort zone and gaining favours from others. If you are the prior and had enough of continuing the victim role, you can make a change by trying these few options.
5 Ways You’re Being Your Own Biggest Obstacle
1. Know what you need and want in your current situation, take ownership, and plan to obtain each need and want methodically.
2. Stop blaming others and maybe even ourselves for what has happened. Forgiveness can go a long way too.
3. Be kind, and practice acknowledgment and gratitude for any progress and achievements.
4. Start practice saying ‘no’ towards undesired situations or activities that are not essential for living or not part of your responsibility.
5. Understand the source of the issue, and try out different ways to overcome it. Also, remember we can always ask for help. For unbiased support, we can also consider reaching out to a professional.
Yes, situations can be unpredictable and uncontrollable. It can also feel unfair from unfulfilled expectations or unrewarded effort.
However, it is important that we remember the solution is just around the corner, we can reach out and share. Be aware of tendencies or patterns of self- victimizing, because when we self-victimize, we are essentially allowing ourselves to be in the position of hurt. We always have the option to remake our life narrative, to initiate a new chapter, starting out fresh.